My "Jonah" story

So it has been made very apparent to me that I'm no good at this consistent blogging thing lol! I WANT to be, so I will keep trying! Thank you for your patience!

Life is interesting, isn't it? There are so many ups and downs, curves and twists, highs and lows. There seem to be a lot of learning seasons too. I'm in one of those seasons currently. (When are we not, really?) God has been been dropping blatant hints at me, that my thick head is finally starting to comprehend. It's always amazing to me how "blaze orange" these hints are when I finally realize they are there! Ha! So let me back up and give you some history behind these recent revelations.

8 years ago I began to have a reoccurring dream that terrified me. I dreamt that I was speaking in front of a huge group of women. Now that may not sound all that terrifying to you, but when the class you HATED the most in school was public speaking, and the thought of speaking in front of people made you want to wet yourself, then that kind of dream IS terrifying- especially when your spirit tells you that it's not just a figment of your own imagination. It becomes even MORE terrifying when random people start asking you (who don't know about the dream) "Have you ever thought of speaking?"! The color drains from you face, you become sick to your stomach, and you begin to realize that God may be trying to tell you something. It was then that I felt something stirring in my soul- that God had some bigger plans for the story that He had given me. After many conversations of me telling God that He had the wrong person for THAT job, I finally surrendered to it. It was then that I finally became excited about sharing my story! (That HAD to be God :) ) I began to pursue different avenues of starting this journey. I spoke a couple times, but it seemed that every time I got fired up about it life, fear, or doubt crept in and I pushed it to the back-burner once again. I tried to fill that void with other areas of service. I tried to serve the Lord in other areas that I thought He was guiding me into. And I learned from all of those experiences. I now realize that I learned that I may have been pulling a "Jonah". I was running from what God wanted me to do and replacing it with things I thought God would want me to do. Wrong. It was just in the last couple of days that I came to the realization of all of this. Crazy how things hit you like a freight train in what seems to be out of the blue! Through close friends, an introspective sermon, and the gentle whisper of the Spirit I have finally realized that I've been running from the very thing that God wants me to do. So....I'm making this commitment public so that I really can't back down from it now! You all are witness to it and I'd love your encouragement and accountability!

I am committing to sharing my story in whatever way, shape, or form God would have me do it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE sharing about Jesus! That was the clincher for me. When I finally realized that talking about Jesus is the thing that brings me the most joy, that sealed the deal for me. I am no great teacher by any means- nor do I even feel qualified to label myself as such- but I have been wrecked by the gospel of Jesus Christ and I want to use that for His glory. So if you know of anyone that is in need of a speaker and if I fit the bill for it, please let me know! (That was really hard for me to write. I'm literally having sweaty palms right now lol!) But in all seriousness, may God be glorified no matter what! Thanks friends for embarking on this journey with me! And if you think of it, please pray for me as I surrender to this call- whatever it looks like! God bless :)