Thursday, March 9, 2017

I Can't Believe I Didn't See This Before

For those of you that have read any of my previous #honestymovement posts, you know that I've been upfront about my struggles as a homeschooling mom. To sum it up, it's not a love of mine. I know it's what God has called me to, but I struggle with that. And to be even more honest, I've struggled with my entire role as a stay-at-home mama. It's been something I've battled with for quite some time now, and I didn't even realize it. Those of you that have known me from a young age may be surprised to hear that. Ever since I can remember, I've always wanted to be just that- a wife and a mom.

Even though I've achieved my lifelong dream and desire, I felt like something was missing. So for the last handful of years, I have been trying to fill that with more roles hoping to find what I was looking for. But you know what? Each thing left me feeling frustrated, unfulfilled, and even more confused.

Why can't I be enough? What am I missing here? Why do I feel like I'm failing at everything??

Those questions have haunted my deepest thoughts for a long time. That has led to frustration, stress, feelings of inadequacy, and ultimately an unhappy home more times than I would care to admit.

But I realized something today.

I was really telling myself that Christ wasn't enough.


That one stung.

I was trying to do this on my own. And I was buying into the lies of our culture and the enemy by thinking that what I was doing wasn't valuable enough. Now, hear me when I say, the things I was pursuing were not bad in and of themselves. In fact, I still believe God is calling me to some of them. BUT they will not bring contentment and fulfillment. ONLY CHRIST WILL.

I heard a sermon today on Titus 2. I know that passage is a sensitive one to some. But why is that? Well, it's because we have bought into our culture's definition of what womanhood should be. And you know what? Our culture's definition is starkly different than that of Scripture's.

There's the other extreme though too. Some take this text out of context or twist it to meet their own agendas.

That's false.

We have to go back to Scripture. We have to look back at how God designed things. He did it perfectly. We have to strip away the box that our culture has placed God's design in and get back to His original intent.

When we start to look at our roles according to what Scripture says and we ask God to strip away the lies that we are led to believe, then we are left with a beautiful picture of what things should be. And we are left with something else.


God has called us, as male and females, into specific roles. But He's also given each one of us different roles within that too. And in EACH one of those roles, we need to look to Christ for our fulfillment.

HE is the reason we do things.
HE is the source of our contentment.
HE is the reason for our joy.
HE is the reason we can fill roles that go against the grain.
HE is all that matters.

My husband saw it. He saw the struggle. But he didn't condemn me. He didn't try to dissuade me. He simply pointed me. He pointed me to Christ. God used him to gently open my eyes to this. And I'm so thankful.

You see, sometimes my stupid pride gets in the way. I get so frustrated with myself. I know the truth, but surrendering to it is a completely different story. But God's grace covers that. I can't even express how amazing that is...and how undeserving I am.

So what about you? Are you struggling with your role or purpose? Look to Jesus. His Word gives us all the direction we need. And honestly? I wrote this more for my own reminder than anything else. Because even though I have clarity right now, I know myself well enough to know that this battle isn't over. The enemy knows that too. But even though I will probably walk down this road again, I know that I love and serve the One who has won the war. So I will continue to fall into His generous grace and cling to that as I serve my husband and kiddos and wherever else He calls me. Thank God for grace!

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

A Fight for Life

Hello world! I took a much needed break from blogging. Mainly because I've been battling a mysterious illness that we STILL don't have a clue what it is. But I'm moving forward each day and hoping for answers- and I have been feeling better the last few days. So that's a plus! If you think of it, my family would appreciate your prayers. Even if we find an answer to this problem, we have recently found out that my kidneys are beginning to be problematic. This is most likely a long-term side effect of the chemotherapy I had years ago. We knew it was a possibility, but it's escalating more quickly than I had hoped. So we covet your prayers :) Thank you!

Anyways, I feel like I've been under a rock, so to speak, recently and am now emerging.

I may have to go back in.

Just when I thought we, as humanity, couldn't reach any lower, I was proven wrong. Looting, name-calling, hatred, violence, intolerance (ironically from those who scream for tolerance....hmm...), and just plain evil are what I see flooding my news feeds, medias, etc.

I'm astounded.
I'm heartbroken.
I'm so deeply grieved.

We, as humans, have reached an all-time low. We are throwing tantrums when we don't get our way, spewing hatred for those who have been elected to serve for our country (and for those that voted them in), and still supporting the slaughter of the most innocent of the human race- and protesting for it in the name of equality.

Buckle your seatbelts because it's about to get crazy here.

I'm not usually for arguing about social issues online. I think it's pointless really. A huge part of communication is non-verbal, so I think that's why we have a lot of escalating issues today. People aren't communicating well.

However, there is one issue that I will take a stance on publicly. Why? Because it's not just a social issue. At it's core it is the most sacred of issues we as humanity can ever face.

The sanctity of life.

I've written about this before, but I feel the need to weigh in on a specific current event. Why? Honestly, because my socks were blown off in shock to see a rather large group from within the Church support it. That left me wiping my jaw off the floor as my heart wept.

In case you were living under a rock too, I'm referring to the women's rights march event that just took place.

Now before a bunch of you start throwing stones or write me off, please hear me out. I don't write this to shun or shame. I simply write this, from my most sincere and broken heart, to make you think.

I'm ALL FOR human rights. Absolutely. Two hands up in support of it. THAT is biblical! Life is valuable- no question. God created man/woman and said that "it was good". We are also the only species that was created in the image of God. So that is not something to take lightly.

So why would I be against the women's rights march? It sounds interesting, initially. I honestly didn't even realize there was a huge problem with women's rights. I thought we had kind of overcome that decades ago. So I was incredibly curious to see what kind of "rights" were being neglected or persecuted for my gender. I went to their website and read all about it. What I found...well...let's just say it didn't shock me. It's the SAME fight that has been going on since Roe vs. Wade. It's just being packaged differently. It basically boils down to the fact that they are fighting for the selfish rights of an individual- NOT for equality in human rights. They think a woman should have the right to play God and decide if the life growing in her is of less value than her own. A life designed, formed, and created by the Creator of all life....not her. We, as women, are simply the vessels chosen to nurture and carry the created life within us. As the Church, I believe that that belief is biblical and one that we should all hold firm to. For the life of me, I cannot understand how one could profess faith in Christ, hold to what Scripture says is truth, recognize and value life as God does, and still support a "pro-choice" view. The two do not go hand in hand.

Let me ask you this...

What will you say when you stand before God one day (because we all will) and He asks you why you supported the slaughtering of innocent life?? And you can't use the excuse that it's "just tissue"....because it isn't. There is a heartbeat well before most women even know they are pregnant. It is a life. And it is valuable.

Yes, there are more than just the "abortion issue" that these women were marching for. I read their site. I read their mission statement. They stand for a lot of things, yes. Including abortion. And when you participate in the protest for or against something, you are aligning yourself with all of their views- whether you realize it or not. You are making a public statement saying "I agree with what they are fighting for." You can't pick and choose in a scenario like this. It's all or nothing.

I value life. ALL our Creator does. So I cannot align myself with this movement. It's anti-biblical in my eyes.

If, as a believer, you find yourself on the pro side of this movement, I would really encourage you to ask yourself "why"? Go back and read their mission statement and all that they stand for. Can you agree to all of the statements and come to the conclusion that God would be for it? Does it support and glorify God by being a part of it? Does it point to the Gospel? Because, let me let you in on a can still be for human rights and not align yourself with this movement.

Church, now more than ever, we are having to draw definitive lines in the sand. Scripture tells us that we won't be liked for our views. In fact we are promised to be persecuted for them. But we are also told that it's not our views that are hated- it's Christ. He is the driving force behind everything we believe in and stand for. Ultimately, we need to worry more about what aligns with Scripture and with Christ than what is popular. And really, by following Him, loving, and speaking truth, we are showing the best and most true love than any movement could ever show. Christ is the ultimate example and the very definition of truth and love. Living and loving with our eyes fixed on Him and allowing Him to work through us is the greatest act of love we could ever give.